Reid's little eye is crusty. I don't know how this happened. Their little bodies are developing so fast, it's like an episode of Star Trek. Maladies appear incredibly quickly and develop over the course of an hour-long episode. Suddenly, from nothing, his right eye has a film of goop on it, and it hardens, disgustingly. It is a "clogged tear duct" by all reports, an apparently common baby malady. K and I are attempting to remain calm, but we both secrety harbor a belief that we should rush him to a prestigious university emergency center for care only at the hands of the most skilled neo-natologist available. Instead, we do agonizingly inconclusive internet research ("What are the long-term ramifications of clogged tear ducts?!?! This website sucks!!") and grimace at his crusty eye. One of the books we rashly purchased advised us to place a warm, moist cloth over the eye to dissolve the ooze. But this caused the eye (naturally) to swell slightly and get a little red, which led the boy to look like a bald-headed, limp-necked Rocky, sitting on a corner stool telling Burgess Meredith to cut his eye. We were bereft.

This morning, they eye looked better. Still a little crusty, but less boxer-like. We may still call the doctor. I suppose they have a button they can press which just tells you to calm down, and describes the proper care of the dozens of frequently-encountered, non-lethal baby maladies. They have to take special exception for the first-time parents who are as peripatetic as us. Because we're not getting any better.