Siblinghood

Since my sister had her twins last week, I've been thinking alot about what siblinghood really means. I don't mean between my sisters and I, but between Reid and Sania, and between my niece Petra and the two girls who will be known for decades as the twins, Ailsa and Quinn.

Reid and Sania have a peace, albeit an uneasy one, most of the time. They like to torture each other, but it is over a certain sheen of true sibling affection. I feel absolutely secure in asserting that they would do anything for the other, that when they are truly frightened, either could take comfort in the care of the other. That at this early date, K and I have raised two children who understand so clearly that they are in a family and that these people in the family are their defenders, friends and protectors, makes me proud.

Of course, I don't think we consciously raised our kids this way; which is to say, we didn't make decisions by saying, "what will most focus the children on understanding their relationship to one another?" It's just a good side-effect, I guess, of keeping them close but not too close, giving them opportunities to share in positive outcomes -- nothing high-minded, but rather fun things and tv shows or whatever.

Anyhow, it is one of the things I look forward to for my own kids -- that they will grow up and understand and live in this complicated, marvelous relationship forever. And I look forward to it, too, for my niece Petra and her two new sisters. She will be their leader, protector and elder no matter how interested or not she is in that role. They may run roughshod over her (and my sister, and her husband, and their dog), but the natural order will take over at some point, and Petra will be the one the twins look to when they are concerned, or are interested in solving a problem, or learning a new kid-trick, just as Sania learns so much from Reid now. And that's an exciting thing to think about.